Today, though, there were no cavities. Great, right? No return trip, no paying more money for expensive, painful, time consuming procedures. All is well. Until they decided I needed a "fluoride varnish" applied to my teeth. This is where things go down hill. (And keep in mind, I had three cavities on my last trip to the dentist and fully expected to match that this go around... And also, I own a toothbrush and am well aware of how to use it. Genetics doesn't work in my favor here...)
So, back to the fluoride varnish. When the hygienist and the dentist started throwing around terms like varnish that I only associate with staining wood and the accompanying horrendous odors, I should have prepared myself for the worst. Instead, I laid there waiting to get this last little formality out of the way so I could move on with my cavity free day.
Then, it began.
There were new tools involved (never a good situation at the dentist... I want to recognize what's there on the table for the hygienist to clean my gums... I mean teeth with... new is not good). With the new tools, she begins to paint (as best I can describe it) this terrible gunk onto my teeth. It feels somewhat similar to when you put a piece of gum between your teeth and your upper lip. The only difference is that this kind of has the texture of a melted gummy worm with dirt mixed in. Not cool.
About the time she finishes up, she starts in with the rules. No eating/drinking for an hour (fine, whatever...), and no brushing until late tonight (Are you kidding? You tell me this after you slopped glue all over my mouth???). I've never wanted to brush my teeth more in my life. If you asked me whether I'd rather participate in fluoride varnishing again or eat a dirt sandwich, there's really a 50/50 shot that I'd take either option.
6 hours to go...
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